CAT

my first ever CAT experience was a no-no. it's a community service type that lets you improve your skills in cleaning, cleaning, and cleaning. it's actually different from my brother when he was in his high school days. theirs were military type, and much harder than ours and what you think.

leona and i were late. btw, before we went to school, we first bought a dust pan and a pail (that's P40 each). so, when we arrived, we started cleaning with the use of our newly bought materials. after that, maybe around 10, we took a break. it's not really a break but an orientation, to give us a "bird's eye view" on what CAT is. i forgot the teacher's name. but she's already old and was a CAT officer back then. she gave us some "how to tips" and taught us so many things.

after that, we were asked to place our "baons" on the table outside and clean afterward.

the next scenes were shocking, very very shocking. imagine all your "baons" put together. all your "ulams" on top of all your rice. imagine everyone's baon, some were fried, some even have "sabaws", all of them were placed and were "halo-halo" together that it looked liked a "burak/kaning baboy!" yuck. :)) not even that, all the flies were also enjoying the scene that they're taking part and having tastes of what it is. duh! it's not a "basura" but a food. it's also like a "kamay-kainan" style. no spoons and forks. just your hands, your very clean hands that smelled like the brown, organic soil, tempting zonrox, and even invicible dusts from the tables and cabinets that you've cleaned.

i may be over-describing it but that was the truth. nah, joking. it's not that bad. besides, we still enjoyed it and of course, we'll never ever forget that first ever CAT experience of ours, especially me.

battle of the bands

gym.
no free day.
battle of the bands.
P 20.

less study, more play

haha. i believe in Dr. Deocaris. for the ones who don't know who he is, well he's a Balik Scientist from the DOST. he's a neurologist (if i'm not mistaken), great researcher and an inspirer. an inspirer for us to pursue science courses in college.

this orientation was "naudlot" for days now. it's supposed to be held last week, february 11. but there were some hindrances so he didn't have the chance to drop by or say something. well, that's not really important.

less study, more play. that's what i'm always telling my parents. they just don't understand me nor my study habits (watching TV while studying). well, i might think that that's not possible. one can't study while watching TV. they're just distractions. but that was years ago. i'm not doing it anymore 'cause i'm studying while netting. :)) multi-tasking, that's more important.

sorry

pinagalitan ako ng aking ina ngayon. sobrang galit na galit na naiiyak na siya. ang sama ko talaga. dapat talaga bumaba na ako at pinuntahan ko na kaagad siya. grabe. hindi ko alam kung bakit parang wala lang sa akin, ni hindi ako umiyak. siguro naging matigas na ako. naging bato na ako sa kaka-sermon at pagalit sa'ken. para ngang wala akong kwenta, na pabigat lang ako sa kanila at dagdag lang ako sa mga problema nila. pero ngayon naiiyak na ako, ngayong naffeel ko na napaka-gago kong tao. wala talaga akong kwenta.

ilang beses na kaya ako napagalitan ngayong buwan na to? 3 beses na. ganito din yung nangyari. sabi nga ng nanay ko gusto na daw niya akong sampalin buti na lang at nakatimpi pa siya. sa tatlong beses na nangyari, laging hinahayblad si mama. nakakatanggap ako ng mga masasakit na mura at salita, na para bang nagsasabi sa'kin na napakawalang kwenta kong tao. BOBO ako. BOBO daw ako. napaka-BOBO ko.

hindi ko man lamang masabing "sorry". ewan ko, nahihiya kasi ako. hindi naman sa napakataas ng pride ko, dahil lang naman kasi iyon sa wala akong lakas ng loob upang masabi ang mga salitang tulad non. actions speak louder than words naman diba? ewan ko. bahala na. hindi naman kasi ako mabait na tao. hindi din ako ung tipong magsasabi ng sorry or i love you sa mga parents ng ganon kadali lang. hayyyy. napaka-laki ng problema ko. hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko.

siguro bukas grounded ako. hindi na muna ako gagala, magpapakabait na ako. siguro hindi din ako bibigyan ng allowance bukas o kaya hanggang next week.

hanggang ngayon tahimik pa rin dito sa bahay. yung tv nga lang yung maingay at hindi sila nanonood di tulad ng dati. hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. galit na galit siya sa'ken. siguro tama nga lang na hindi na ako tumawa. lagi naman kasing kalungkutan ang kasunod nun.

Blazing hot Monday

i didn't arrive pretty much early like last week. i just realized that there's nothing much to do and cram and besides, i'm the class monitor. :)) haha. when i arrived, i was not surprised to dale's everyday habit - talking, babling, babling, talking, then projectile. i was just surprised when she told me about my blog - the I HATE 14 thing. it's kinda weird, though. my blog was supposed to be sad, but she's thinking that it's funny. she's really really weird. i mean, she's so super duper WEIRD!

oh ya, we had our first graduation practice today. it's not actually a practice. we just knew where we will be seating during our graduation. speaking of graduation, i'm very very excited to it. i want to leave ParSci since then. i want to be free at last. free from pressure, stress, piles of assignments, cramming, procrastinating, plastics, tupperwares, blah, blah, blah. i want to start a new ME... but of course, we still have to finish our research and publish our first book. ugh! damn, leaving this school's not that easy! it's gonna be hell before attaining the much-awaited FREEDOM. :))

hell... it's super duper hot today. as in! i didn't expect that it's gonna be that hot 'cause it rained this morning. and it's like, we're all drowning in our own sweats (ewe!) hahaha. and take note! we had our Chemistry test a while ago and it's like we're having a sauna bath. hard exam + hot temperature = death. hahaha. :)) well, hot weather means summer. and summer's near!

uhmmm. jas and leona accompanied me to SM to buy 2 cartolinas. SM's colder than Lianas or the stores outside the school, so technically, SM's the right choice to gala, and to buy cartolina. haha. stupid. :)) we ate at KFC. Tokyo-Tokyo's our first choice, but because we didn't have enough money, we switched to KFC. uhmmm. we also searched for a copy of "THE SCARLET LETTER" but unfortunately, they're out of stock (maybe they really don't have one). and then, we headed to national and bought some things - 2 cartolinas, a pentel pen, and a colored paper. we actually wandered inside NBS for an hour 'cause Leona can't decide what/if she will buy. in the end, she just bought 2 envelopes - a short pink, and a long violet - and its plastic cover.t haha. uhmmm. i forgot what jasmine bought... basta, she bought something.

---

tomorrow? we'll be having our research.

leona and jas will go here.
we'll be watching something... :))

i hate 14.

unmet expectations.
oh yeah. care to know?

valentine's day. i canceled all my not-so-special meetings. i didn't answer all phone calls. i didn't reply to all those monotonous GMs. i did those stupid acts 'cause i thought we'll be having some "family get-together" thing. FCUK. i waited. i expected. i'm so super duper angry to them, for not keeping their promise.

don't expect! the hell, everybody does the opposite. how can you expect someone not to expect? DUH?! unmet expectations.

i should have went to our journ meeting and enjoyed some moments with them. i should have went with Dale and her family and have fun in their family day at sacre. i should have went to Leona's and have some fun. i should have called Jas. WE should have done our research, feeding those smelly mice with extracted mango peels. i should have not expected.

oh. i hate valentine's day. i hate 14. i hate my family. i hate expecting.

RECOLLECTION

recollection namin ngayon. haha, i forgot to write some reco letters para kina leona at dale (syempre hindi na kasama si jasmine dun kasi nga!) so kinram ko pa siya pagdating ko sa school. nakakatawa nga eh, wala lang. nakita ko nga rin pala ung letter na binigay ni dale kay ohio na punit punit na. akala ko nga design yun kaya na-astigan ako. nagulat lang ako nung sinabi ni dale na pinunit niya talaga yun at tinape lang ni ohio. sobra. haha.

it's not that fun and emotional like what we had during my elementary days, but we still enjoyed. syempre, masaya kami ni leona dahil ittreat kami ni Omar ng STARBUCKS. oh yeah. XD. pero before pa nun, medyo na-badtrip ako. i don't know the the reason why. pero i'm sure na madaming bagay ang nagpabadtrip saken. well, tapos na yun at nakalimutan ko na rin siya. haha.

so, pumunta kagad kami sa SM pagkatapos ng recollection. starbucks muna. then, nag-ikot muna kami. dapat nga may bibilhin ako sa maldita kaya lang masyadong malaki ung shirt na nakita ko. so, sa valentines na lang. gagala daw kasi kami sa taguig at makati. so ayun, gumala pa kami ng gumala. tas, birthday pala ni isko taduran, kapatid ni dale, so naisipan naming pumunta na lang kina dale at maki-chibog.

we walked from SM to Dale's house. haha. totoo yan. nilakad lang talaga namin nila leona, dale, ohio. doon kami dumaan sa bagong road na project ni Sen. Manny Villar. C5 extension ata ung tawag dun. basta. syempre, ako ung nagpropose na maglakad kami para maka-save kami ng P12 na pamasahe dapat namin sa jeep at trike. haha. on the way nga eh may nakita kaming 3 gays, i mean super duper bakla. sobrang taray nila, na nung naglakad kami sa harap nila, may sinabi sila: "o sige, tawa pa" parang ganun. basta. super nakakairita. feeler naman nila.

nung nakarating na kami sa bahay nila dale, sobrang pagod na pagod na kami. edi syempre kain kaagad. kumain kami ng cake, chicken at spag. at pagkatapos eh laughtrip naman. siguro sa sobrang tawa, sumabog si dale. i mean, nagpasabog si dale! :)) haha. na sinundan naman ng burp ni leona at pagpapasabog ko rin. haha.

umuwi na rin kami pagkatapos. nagtake-home pa nga kami ng cake. sobrang saya talaga.

happy birthday isko!

nothing. just nothing.

My love I cannot see in those vague eyes,
Nor is reflected me, why can't that be?
Truth is, my love for thee thy heart denies.
And so must I let go, farewell to thee!

It's so stupid. This is so stupid!
Why am I writing this? fcuk.
good old days. it reminds me of someone.